When the Music Stops Somebody Loses

“Up and down the City Road

In and out of the Eagle

That’s the way the money goes

Pop!  Goes the weasel.”

-        England, November, 1855 in the Thirtieth Annual Report Of The National Society For Promoting The Education Of The Poor

Chasing around the Mulberry Bush, as the kids this side of the pond have learned to play and sing the American version of the old-England rhyming game, the Washington State Legislature convened this week with perhaps #1 on their list of things to fix the education of the poor, and everybody else in Washington’s public school system. 

At least that’s the contention of the Washington Education Association (WEA).  Education needs more money.  Per the WEA website, “Washington now ranks 43rd in student spending. Only seven states invest less per child.” 

Enter the Lottery.

State Lottery officials in “The Department of Imagination” imagine “higher education will receive more money than expected this year.” 

But not veterans.  

The article from which this hope-springs-eternal statement springs - the article that describes those officially charged to responsibly gamble (invest) your gambling dollars; the article that has them imagining the benefits to education through the sales of lottery tickets - also had Washington Lottery leaders admitting that expenses and prizes for the “Veterans Raffle” won’t be covered.  That would be bad enough were it not for the fact that the beneficiaries - the returning soldiers who’d hoped to have realized significant money to “assist their families facing financial hardships due to deployment” – won’t be benefiting. 

But then, as the child’s song declares, “that’s the way the money goes.” 

This second verse of this weasel-witticism with which this blog began “has been interpreted as a game of roulette, or some other gambling game. A monkey in cockney rhyming slang is £500 (500 British Pound Sterling = $803.80 U.S. Dollars.  Update: Since writing this blog, the value of the U.S. dollar has dropped). It could be interpreted that the stick used by the croupier ‘knocks’ the ‘monkey’ from the table, implying that the person has lost their money.” 

That ‘person’ being you. 

Or our veterans. 

Imagine the good news though.  According to “The Department of Imagination” officials, the losses from the Veterans Raffle will come out of the Lottery agency’s marketing budget.  Of course the not-so-fine-print bad news is that the money will not go into the pocket of the families of our returning soldiers who are struggling financially. 

That’s a crime. 

Speaking of crime scenes and where your money goes, also caught up in the world of imagination and make-believe is publically-subsidized Amtrak which only lost $361,000,000 this last year.  That’s a lotto zeroes.  ‘Imagine the good news though,’ as much as said Joseph Boardman, the railroad’s president and CEO.  ‘We haven’t lost that little since 1975.’ 

You can ride along with Amtrak on high speed fail to New York where that legislature is proposing to “take money from the gambling industry to create a fund designed to reduce the influence of money in politics.”  

No, you read that right. 

The idea is to use gambling money to keep the gambling industry from profiting from politicians who otherwise would support gambling.

Imagine that.

While in New York be sure to take in a couple of other crime scenes, one being Cooperstown where no – as in zero -  Hall of Fame nominations received the necessary number of votes by baseball writers in order to be inducted this year.  

Something about needing to score high in such categories as integrity, sportsmanship and character as opposed to racking up drug-enhanced-runs or steroid-induced-strikeouts.    

So no new pictures – not Roger Clemmons or Barry Bonds or Mark McGwire - on the walls in Cooperstown. 

And by all means don’t miss the Brooklyn Museum.  Turns out one-quarter of the 926 Dutch and Renaissance paintings, Chinese porcelains, jewelry and furniture obtained eight decades ago – are fakes. 

So the pictures – the Rembrandts, van Dycks, and El Grecos - are coming down from the walls in Brooklyn. 

The implication here seems to be that we can control – and support - gambling and at the same time keep politicians honest.  And, if everyone would just get on board, high speed rail wouldn’t be high speed fail.  And, when people scratch more lottery tickets, well then Johnny can come marching home again to receive financial assistance instead of scratching out a sub-existence, not to mention more money would benefit Washington schools as funding would rise, the drop-out rate would fall, and everyone would live happily ever after. 

On the other hand, what if instead of imagining what the “Department of Imagination” will imagine next, the legislature would create, promote, and market a Department of Perspiration which entity would be charged with the responsibility to convey the philosophy that work-to-win not play-to-win - or at minimum play by the rules to win: works. 

It could get your picture on the wall.

Imagine that.