Celebrities You'll Likely Never Find in the Gutter

If you want to ensure your gutters will work this coming season of inclement weather you should, before it rains (circle one):

A.    Find your ladder, gloves, poking stick, broom, silicon, and clean ‘em and caulk ‘em.

B.    Rain?

C.    Never mind.

If you circled ‘C’ you are correct. 

You’ll never mind, nor need to maintain, your gutters again, implied the website.  Peace of mind will reign even during the most torrential rain because, having installed their product you’ll know for sure your gutters will work every time, all the time and, perhaps best of all, no tools nor ladder will ever be needed again.

Skeptical? 

‘C’ is also correct as in ‘C’ for Celebrities, 13 of whom Fox News has identified this Sunday morning of Aug.11 in its entertainment headline: “Idols who will (probably) never let us down.” 

Skeptical? 

Especially when there is a website dedicated to “Outrageous Celebrity Antics of the Week”?

C.    Never mind.

Never mind that “Major League Baseball suspends 13 players for cheating with performance-enhancing drugs,” says Fox.  Never mind that “kids who were wholesome teen idols yesterday are doing drugs and making sex tapes.”  And never mind that “our favorite stars spend their days shuttling between jail and rehab.” 

“Here,” declares Fox News, “are 13 heroes who are extremely unlikely to ever fall from grace.”

Never (optimistically) clogging the gutter; never (wishfully) damming the outlet thus damning, and damaging, all that surrounds; never (never say never) requiring you to have to climb the ladder yet again to replace what you thought could be depended upon to actually perform to expectations, these baker’s dozen celebrities can be counted on to weather the weather whatever the weather.

Hopefully.

In every single case of the fab 13, what Fox News seems to find compelling as reason for their never-need-replacement-as-role-model status is the stuff they’ve done.  From voter registration drives, to creating - or donating to – charitable organizations, to protecting wildlife in Africa, to stocking the shelves of food banks in America, such and more are their “notable acts of kindness.”  Avoiding the tabloids, shooting baskets or throwing the football, their virtues are many and some credit God.

But it remains to be seen whether in this sodden and sorry-looking sordid culture these celebrities will maintain their clean-living lifestyle because that depends entirely on what is unseen. 

Like the gutter ad maxim, “if your outlets in your gutters are clean, water will always flow out of your gutter, always.” 

And keeping clean the outlet depends on the product you install for the input.

In his book “An Uncompromising Life,” author John MacArthur calls that ‘integrity.’

“Every day in obvious and subtle, public and private ways, you face decisions that make or break your integrity.  What you watch, what you read, what you say, what you do, what you think—even what you refuse to do.  It all adds up to a life of integrity, or a life lacking it.  You either give off light that others see, admire, and are drawn to, or you blend in with everyone else.”