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Health & Fitness

Marijuana Supplants Rhody as State Flower

No, it hasn't happened yet but it could.

And why not? 

On November 6, 2012, Washington was joined by Colorado in becoming the first state to legalize the sale and possession of cannabis for recreational use since the Marijuana Tax Act of 1937, marking "an electoral first not only for America but for the world."

The world.

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Not just America but The World.

That alone right there makes the Rhody nothin’ but shoddy second-rate bloomin’ “woody plant with a showy flower.”  

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But marijuana?

There is much to commend a weed for Washington’s own national treasure, much like the cowboy boot (no really) belongs solely to - where else - Texas.

For one, politicians eager to "tie themselves to popular symbols," could earn renown and be forever known as the legislator having so-moved, making Washington proud  and the world take notice.    

It wouldn’t be the worst law on the books. 

Take Walla Walla’s “Unlawful acts on park property – 9.17.180,” for example: “Give or offer, or attempt to give to any animal or bird any known noxious substance.” 

Just in case you were wondering what would happen if you flipped to a bird - and not just any bird but the state bird, the Goldfinch - a pinch of this noxious new state flower.

For two, marijuana is long overdue to be recognized for its psycho trance-inducing properties. 

Despite pot’s auspicious beginnings – the earliest recorded mention having occurred during the time of the pyramids, Pharaohs and imperialism where highly prized pot was buried next to mummies no less – pot properties have at times been both mystical – said to “keep away witches” – and well, mystical – marijuana reported to have inspired an inhaling  Shakespeare.   

Given the long and hysterical, er historical, significance of pot, now is the time and Washington is the place  to put pot on the pinnacle – if not the flag post – where it rightfully (according to a recent election) belongs, the crowning statement, the climatic symbol, the consummate superlative of staggering (yes, that too), swaggering triumph, a truly remarkable journey impacting everything from mummified tombs to pregnant wombs.

So before our marijuana impaired motor skills, better judgment, slowed reaction time, and mind-altered short-term memory loss  prevents us from (a) remembering what it was that we were going to achieve here; and (b) actually achieving it, then let us be not only the first state to embrace oblivion but to make the state symbol of the same the bong, or the joint, or the blunt – whatever dude – before the Columbine is replaced by Cannabis should this catch on in ‘Rocky Mountain High’ (yes, that high) Colorado.

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