When Naps Become Optional, At Least in a Toddler's Opinion

What has been your experience with getting your child to nap and how necessary do you think it is for toddlers to lay down during the daytime?

Ahhh, naptime. Those wonderful two hours of the day when there is peace and quiet in your home and you can actually fold laundry without “assistance.”

Pediatric sleep experts say that by age 2, most children have given up their morning nap but still need to go down for a few hours in the afternoon. While about a quarter of children stop napping altogether by 3 – and another half between ages 3 and 4 – I wasn’t expecting my son to revolt at 21 months. You know, 15 months short of age 3.

In the past two weeks – but not every day – he has decided that he’s just not tired. And in the process, I am more tired. It’s hard work chasing a toddler who goes from zero to 60 in about 10 seconds. I love that my son is so active, but sometimes, mommy needs a break.

When he is standing up within five minutes of being put down, alternately yelling, crying and plotting his way out of his crib, no one wins. Well, except him, after another five or 10 minutes during which I see if he's going to give up and fall asleep. Eventually, I cave, and back to "Thomas & Friends" we go.

But a child who is perky as can be at 2 p.m. is not the same child by dinnertime. And no one wants a side of cranky with their meal.

I talked to some of my friends whose kids are older, and found that the results were somewhat mixed. One friend’s son stopped napping altogether when he was 2 1/2; another said that her 3-year-old daughter still naps at least two hours a day. And most of my friends whose kids are the same age as my son are still getting their kids down for a nap for at least two hours a day, seven days a week, like clockwork.

Yeah, they’re no help.

Napping needs differ from one child to another, and some children don’t actually need a nap. The bottom line is that children younger than 4 need 12 to 14 hours of sleep in a 24-hour period, and if they are getting that at night, they may be filling their sleep quota all at once.

Guess it’s time to start waking my son for a 3 a.m. chat. Just kidding.

I also learned that many children who go on nap strikes eventually revert back to their old routine – even if it takes months. Adding extra activity to a child’s schedule can help. I would agree with this; on days that we go to gymnastics or the children’s museum, he is more tired by mid-afternoon. But it’s not as if he doesn’t get any activity at home – as I write this, he is zooming around – and potentially chasing the cat – with a blue truck.

Toddlers and preschoolers do not want to miss out on life – even when they’re running on fumes. Everything going on around them is much more exciting than sleep. I personally would rather take a nap than watch myself unload the dishwasher, but hey, I’m not 1.

The best tip that I read was to make sure that children nap in the same place every time. Letting them fall asleep on the couch one day and putting them in their bed the next doesn’t work. Even if they don’t fall asleep, being consistent enforces quiet time for a set period of time every day.

For children old enough to understand, explain that they need to rest so they will have energy to play later. Breaking down your rationale, such as, “You need to lay down for a little bit so you can help me bake cookies later,” is more likely to entice cooperation.

Leave some quiet toys or books in the bed with them, draw the curtains and close the door.

I’ll be trying this in about an hour. The blue truck needs to rest.